My name is Lindsay.
I grew up in a Christian home. My dad is a pastor and my mom stayed home with us kids. I grew up going to church every Sunday morning and night and was involved in the Wednesday night youth services. Looking back I don’t think I ever understood what a relationship with Jesus meant. I believed that Jesus was God’s son. I believed that Jesus died to save me from my sins. I knew there was a heaven and a hell. I had given my heart to the Lord at a young age and followed the checklist of what a Christian should look like. In high school though I walked away from the Lord. I blamed God and the church for allowing things to happen to me. I began to party looked for love wherever I could find it. I began down a road of self hatred, drugs and anything that could numb the pain I felt.
Through it all I knew that God was there and even in my darkest times I would cry out to him asking him why my life was like this. I truly believe God spared me from a lot during those times.
When I was in my first semester of college I was out of control. One night I was sitting in my bathroom crying because of where my life was headed. My dad had given me a Jeff Deyo CD a few months earlier. I had put it in the CD player but hadn’t listened to it yet. All of a sudden the cd player turned on and started playing a song called “I surrender all.” I knew it was God calling out to me. I called my dad told him I needed to get out of here and within two days I had quit college, broken up with my boyfriend and drove across Nebraska to attend a program called Masters Commission.
Most people who attended this program were already saved and wanted to be apart of the program to get closer to God and serve their community and church. I however just needed a safe place with people who were going to love me and fight for me. I will never forget the amount of chances the Directors gave me (I broke about every rule there was) they cared about me and loved me and wanted me to succeed. After 2 months in the program I decided to rededicate my life to Christ.
I began having an actual relationship with God. I had prayer time and read my Bible. Was around people who loved God and influenced me for the best. It was a long road for me to forgive myself for everything I had done even though I know God forgave me the second I asked him to.
Jesus has freed me from drugs, alcohol, feeling unloveable, insecurities and so much more.
I am now married to a wonderful strong Christian man who loves me. I have two wonderful children and get to stay home with them. I know this is my purpose right now and truly believe that Satan did everything he could to stop me from becoming who I am today.
The verses that I have held onto in life are:
Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
I love this verse. Sometimes I think in life we pray and pray and pray for what we think we need. I think sometimes we forget to listen. I love this. God is on our side. He will fight for us.
Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”
When I think about this verse it reminds me of what God has brought me through. When I look back 10 years ago I don’t even recognize the person I was. God has changed me in every way possible that sometimes who I was in the past doesn’t even seem real.”
I think the most important lesson I have learned in life this past year is that God is in control and not me. You have to surrender yourself fully to God. He has truly blessed my husband and I and he continues to fight for me. I love that he cares so much.